If I get married, I want to be very married. Audrey Hepburn

So I wrote out a post yesterday, but never posted it. Even though I feel much better today than I did then, I still want to post it. Can't be perfect all the time ;)

Bear with me while I act like a 13 yr old girl for a minute. :) Why are some days an uncontrollable whirlwind of emotion? I don't know who has taken over my body and my mind lately, but it's high-time they get goin'. There are a few reasons I can think of, but none of these reasons are reason enough to become Satan on Earth... which I have. No judgments here, right? Ugh. 

I really think it all boils down to my impatience with God. Why aren't things happening as quickly as I had hoped? Why does God get to decide how and when things happen? I am laughing at myself already for asking that one. I know I will wake up in the next few days with a fresh outlook and a regretful heart for feeling the way I have been lately. 

The idea of even starting the buying process for a new home makes me worry. 

The possible chance of infertility makes me worry. 

Side bar: This is every woman- who - has - dreamed - to - be - a - mother's worry. I have not been told that I am infertile. I have PCOS, which is very common, so I know that I will have a tougher time getting pregnant because I don't ovulate as regularly as most women.

I don't know why, but Satan has bounded the idea in my head lately. It's exhausting and it makes me so so sad. Why can't I just trust that God will do perfect things in perfect time? Why do I have to control everything? 

Most of all.. Why do I insist on thinking my way is better than God's way? God has proved to me time and time again that He is faithful. 

I really do feel much better today about everything. Maybe it was a mixture of sadness, worry, anxiety, and a little bit of my just being female. haha. 

On with the questions!

What are 5 passions you have? 

1. Being a mom. I know that's a shocker.

2. Politics. But what I'm absolutely NOT passionate about, is belittling others because they don't hold the same opinion you do. I honestly can't wait for the election to be over... I never thought I'd say that.

3. My marriage. Putting Christian first...

4. Missions

5. Thrifting..

Still trying to figure out how to style this hair of mine... But i still LOVE it!!

Christian is taking me on a surprise getaway this weekend! I'm so excited! I could hardly sleep last night, and that is a RARITY. 

Thanks for reading and listening to my rants! ;)

xo