was hanninnn

I don't know if this is just a fluke, or if my thoughts on this will change throughout the fast, but lately I have felt more naturally beautiful than I have in a very long time. While I do still find myself having to have really good hair days to compensate for my lack of makeup, I feel really... pretty. Such a weird concept considering that last week I wanted to hide under a rock. Actually I almost resorted to wearing my glasses full time so that I could at least hide behind those. I have to keep reminding myself that this isn't about how anyone else in the world sees me. I am really beginning to love the way my face feels, and the 'naked' me.

Now let's be honest here. I have successfully fasted from makeup for 24 days. I have 16 days left until the fast is over. The most commonly asked question is whether I will resort back to wearing makeup after these 40 days are up. My answer... Yes. I miss the mascara. Just like I knew I would... HOWEVER... I don't think I will wear face makeup anymore. Or at least not on a day to day basis. I have grown to really love my skin. Now that I know I can go without, leaving the house 'naked' might not be the worst thing in the world.

Let me remind you that I still have 16 days left; my outlook on this could potentially change drastically. For right now though, I am happy and I am beautiful.

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

 but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

On another note, I served on SETN Tres Dias Weekend #43 over the weekend. What a sweet, sweet time! I would encourage anyone to both go through the weekend, and to work one. Such a blessing to serve and to be served in any aspect of my Christian walk.

On a third note... Baby Elijah is stable, but still struggling. Over the past week we have been good news, then bad news, then good news etc. It's been quite the roller coaster of emotions; being strong for Haley has been really tough. She was finally able to hold him...

OHHH em geeeee! Isn't he so sweet and yittle?! 

God is so good. 

sweet, sweet life.

Thanks for all of the prayers baby Elijah! The reports lately have been positive in that his blood pressure has somewhat stabilized and he is starting to breath a little on his own. He's still the cutest little thing!

Makeup fast is still an adjustment! While it's really nice not having to worry about doing it, I'm still having a hard time with how I look. It's definitely gotten easier, but it still isn't where I want to be.

Life has been pretty hectic lately. Between school, homework (lots and lots of it), Tres Dias, hospital visits, small group, work, seeing my family, and most importantly, spending time with C, I feel like I'm constantly treading water. I thought something mindless and interesting would be a fun addition to a blog post...


i don't usually do these things, but this was a little different. it was fun to remember. if you want to do it too, copy it, paste it, and then post yours with your own bold on what you've done.

"Bold" things I've done in my 24 years:
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said "I love you" and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg 
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger 
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and didn't care who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country (Silly dancing in Haiti)
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert" 
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over- No, but definitely a cool idea.
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life


There are so many things I'm dying to do in this life. Where do we find the time and money to do them all?!?


I've also decided on my 25th birthday party. Just 6 months in advance. Can you tell I love birthdays!!? I discovered the idea here, and I'm obsessed with it.


ruv xo

a different kind of Friday...

I couldn't think of anything I wanted/coveted today like I do on most "Favorite Fridays". My mind and my heart are consumed with thoughts of my cousin and her sweet new baby Eli. He is really struggling, and Momma is having a hard time watching her son suffer. It's hard to blog when I feel like I can't even form words or thoughts... Honestly, sometimes trusting in God is hard. Really friggin' hard.

Maybe through these verses there will be encouragement for anyone who is relying on a God that is bigger than we could ever understand.

... Psalm 46:1 ” God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble “.

... Hebrews 13 : 5 ”Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence, The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid."

... Isaiah 46: 4  "I am he, who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you. I will sustain you and rescue you."

Keep praying, friends. Our God is greater!

xo

an exciting couple of days!

First things first. Makeup Update:

This sucks. This is hard. This is not fun. Haha this will get better.... right? I am starting to feel like I look sickly. There have been some perks to being 'naked' that I will be sad to let go after all of this:

I don't have to worry about wiping mascara off after each shower. Oh and I don't leave black smudges on our towels. :)
I can rub my naturally itchy eyes any time I want!
When Christian tells me I'm beautiful, I know he sees more than just my face.
My friends and family are super encouraging.
I used to put it on while I drove, or while Christian was driving whenever we went anywhere.

1. Dangerous- Yes. 

1. It's really nice to just enjoy the drives together now.

And since you asked what the sucky parts of all this are, let me just tell you.

Meeting new people is probably the most awkward part of all of this. I want to preface each handshake with, "Oh and by the way, I don't usually look this bad."

My smile is simply not as bright. It's true. (Even thought it's probably due to my bad attitude)

Awkward stares- This is totally in my head. But it makes for funny stories about gawking children.

This is only the first week, so I keep reassuring myself that this will get better, and that this is going to be worth it.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Welcome to the world, Elijah Samuel Trapp!

Such a sweet little blessing. Keep him and his momma in your prayers, please. He's just a little guy.

favorite fridays

1. This is so random, and everyone is going to think I am crazy... lol. One of my favorite things to do is look at baby pictures with Christian and try to pinpoint the different characteristics that we think our baby is going to have. I also like going to this site and doing it that way. Here is our results... lol. CRAZY. i know. I realize this is a morph, so the lines look a little funny, but how sweet is this little guy? I'm in love already.

1. Favorite tv show... Shameless!

1. Those sweet mornings (that rarely happen) when I get to wake up, snuggle the most perfect husband alive, make some coffee, and leave my hair and face looking a hot mess. Not having to worry about getting anything done, or being anywhere on time. I really love this actually.

1. When pictures like this pop up on my Pinterest, and I feel like somebody hijacked my mind.

1. Shopping days with mom.... Which I get to do tomorrow! Christian is spending the day with my dad and some friends in North Carolina, so mom, me and the boys are going to get stuff for my baby cousin's baby shower. My mom is crazy creative! This is a pretty good representation of us:

Have a good weekend friends. Be thankful; be blessed.

H

all of my days.

Update on Makeup Fast: The first item I eliminated is eyeliner. Not the toughest thing to go, but I can still see a change in my appearance, so I have felt a little insecure all day long. I'm hoping that after a few days of being 'naked' I will feel confident. I'd hate to feel like this for the entire 40 days, and I really don't want to have to avoid a mirror the whole time! :)

Here's a picture. Excuse the lazy eye... (<< again with the insecurity!)

fasting. from. MAKEUP!?

Y'all are going to think I'm nuts. Maybe I am... But that means that the girls in my small group are too! One of the girls came across this blog... http://melissajenna.com/category/makeup-fast/.

We are inspired to try this too. This should be great for blogging. Everyone will get to see my 'naked' face. In order to make the transition a little less drastic, and to decrease the shock value (haha), we decided to take away one thing at a time. I will keep you updated on what items we are eliminating. :)

Let me assure you that this will not be an easy task for any of us. While I don't wear a lot of makeup, what I do wear is key to my feeling good and refreshed throughout the day. Here's what i will be eliminating:

• Bare Mineral Foundation under eyes and around nose. Also used to cover a birth mark on my cheek.
• Bare Mineral Bronzer.
• Blush
• Eyeliner
• Mascara (This will be a devastating one.)

How awesome would this be if, as a female species, we started a revolution! After all, if we're being honest, we don't wear makeup for the men in our life. If I painted my face with a crayon Christian would still tell me how beautiful I look. We do it because we feel ugly without it. We do it for other women. I am so inspired by this Makeup Fast. I crave security with the face and the body that God has given me.

Maybe this is the first step...

H

favorite friday....

1. Probably my most favorite thing to think about is being a mom. With all of my heart, I cannot wait to have a baby! As soon as I finish this degree...

2. Being carefree. I love 'playing' outside and getting dirty. Having dirty feet and smelling like outside reminds me of being young(er). Such a freeing feeling.

3. Hymns. All of them. Especially when our contemporary band at Calvary sings them. I really love this picture of this little guy... I feel like he's singing: 

"Oh my soul, rejoice! Take joy, my King, in what you hear; let it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear."

4. Shoes. EEK... Love them. I really like shopping for clothes, purses, etc., but a pair of shoes can really make or break your outfit. I love that I don't have to buy crazy expensive pairs. I'm sure Christian appreciates that more.. ;)

5.Uncontrollable Laughing. It might be the best feeling ever.

Christian & Adam are the worst when it comes to
laughing at the most inappropriate times.

6. Helping others. That is totally my love language; "Acts of Service". If you don't know what I'm talking about, you can find more here. 

We really are the hands and feet of God. 

Let’s never come here again because it would never be as much fun.

Tonight is my first night of school in almost 3 years. EEK. Feeling a little nervous, but mostly super excited. I really love school... I'll just have to remind myself that I said this for the next 18 months.. lol. All day today I was thinking about how much I'd love to just go on vacations all the time. (Crazy thought, I know. I can't imagine anyone else feeling that way, haha.) Not like resort-style vacations, though I won't complain if that's where someone wants to take me. I mean like an adventure, see the world, forget what my bed feels like, vacation. C and I are dying to travel. Scotland, Oregon, Asia, Costa Rica, Thailand, you name it. Whilst thinking these things, I thought I'd only like to go to places I've never been before... Then it hit me. It doesn't really matter. It will always be different, and it will always bring new memories.

You know the moment... the one where everything around you is still. Life has stopped long enough for you to enjoy every feeling, every smell, every person around you; for just a few seconds, life submits to you. Also in this moment, you realize that nothing like this can ever happen twice. Sure, we'll have more moments where we get to experience all of those things again, but never with the same feelings, or smells, or people. It can never be the exact same.

A lot of times my feelings and thoughts don't come because of my own experiences.

My brother, Adam, the eldest of the boys, is on a mission trip in Angola, Africa. I can just imagine the many feelings he is experiencing these two weeks. Even if he went back next month, things wouldn't be just as they are this time. There will be new people, new jobs, and because our God is constantly challenging us to be better, the lessons and the blessings will also be different.

Some things can happen millions of times, but are still very different.

Hugs from my brothers... I long for them. Their tight squeezes, and their sweet laughs, are the best! Each time is different. Each brings a whole new feeling of warmth that can't be replicated the next time.

Other times, the only way we can have that moment again is by reliving it in our memories and in our hearts.

The smell of the turf on my High School soccer field. My Mamaw touching me with her cold feet to prove to me that I do, in fact, need to cover up during our sleepovers. The taste of mango, and being reminded that it will never be quite as fresh and tasty as the ones in Haiti.  Reminiscing with an old friend, and the tinge of sadness that comes with knowing that that season in life has passed. 

These posts tend to be so random! I'm thankful for these reminders that life isn't as hard as we'd sometimes like to think. After all, a bad day does not equal a bad life.

H